True friends

I thought maybe today I'd just talk a little bit about friendship. We all have friends or people we call when we are bored to talk or to hang out. What makes a good friend? It's something I think we all ask ourselves.

"There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship" - Thomas Aquinas

I think that is a very powerful quote, but how do we know, or find true friendship? My very best friend, apart from my husband, I've known since I was 2. Yes, we have been friends that long, she was the maid of honor at my wedding and is the godmother of my first child. We have had 1 fight in our 20 years of friendship and that was when we were 7 and she wouldn't let me play with one of her American girl dolls. Come on, we were girls those silly fights happen. She makes me laugh like you would not believe, and is practically part of our family. Her future spouse will not only have to ask her parents for her hand in marriage but my parents, as well.

How can a friendship last so long? We have not attended the same school since we were in kindergarten, we lived several miles apart for most of our childhood, and neither one of us enjoy talking on the phone. Now we live at least 2,000 miles apart. We don't hold any secrets to our friendship, we just ... are. I can speculate. We don't sit and discuss politics, or religion, we were both raised Catholic, however, she'll be the first to tell you I'm the one who has remained the "bible thumper". To me, our friendship isn't about telling one another what we are doing right or wrong, but being an example for one another. I know when she disagrees with something I do, because I hear behind her sweet "wow, I mean if thats what you want" comment, that not-so-sweet "Your crazy and I don't think you should do that" tone. That disappointed tone is enough to make anyone rethink things. I'm sure there are things I've said and done that have helped her as well. Our friendship is not perfect, but is anyones really? Friendship takes practice and growth, understanding and respect.

"Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces." -Anne Morrow Lindbergh.

How true is that quote? Girls are the worst, we are so mean to each other, burn friendships like we have plenty to spare. When women do something wrong, and are confronted about it, we tend to hold grudges. I had a friend do wrong to me, and I told her I needed a bit of “space”, and that I was angry. That may not have been the best thing, but I was hurt and really did need “time away." When I finally cooled off, I called her up and said, "I forgive you." Guess what! All of a sudden, I was to blame. I did everything wrong. She could not own up to what she did, and because of that she burned the bridge between us. I honestly don't hold a grudge now, and I have emailed her to see how she is, but I never hear a response. To me, I just think that that’s her loss.

Why do people hold grudges? I rarely ever confront anyone, except on matters of moral issues. The one time that happened (4 years ago) it was in a positive way, and this person hates me. Hate is a strong word, and I do not exaggerate it, this person has literally told people "I hate her." It does not bother me; if they want to "hate" me that is up to them. If 4 years later they are still concerned with that issue, then thats a bit ridiculous. People need to learn to forgive, and in some cases, forget. If we spend our lifetime hating and hurting others we are truly only hurting ourselves. I do not tell the "negative" stories to ask for pity, and I'm not bitter. It’s to simply show that I am human and that even though I have great friends, I have lost friends too, but I didn't lose true friends.

True friends are friends who are there for you, who help you to grow in faith, love, and friendship. Who aren't afraid to tell you when you are wrong, but remain there for you when you are. Who rejoice with you when you are happy, and comfort you when you aren't. If you have a friend like that, hold on to them. Grow with them, and help them get to heaven.