The Waiting Game

All of us have a little trouble waiting. Our anticipation and excitement for things sometimes leads us to act prematurely; if only we had waited just a bit longer, we could have had something even better!

As kids, waiting is extra hard. The little minds of children can only handle so much excitement and anticipation before they just "burst." How many of you "peeked" at your presents before Christmas morning? I can honestly tell you, I never did, mostly because my mom was so good at hiding them (she has lost a few presents in the past). The waiting game is not particularly fun, but it is extremely good practice to prepare you for adulthood.

As adults, responsibilities grow. You are no longer under your parents "financial wing," for the most part; rent, car payments, groceries, phone and internet bills, things add up. Money becomes tight. Weekends were once spent shopping for clothes, going to movies, going out to dinner with friends; all of a sudden, every penny counts. This is where the waiting game begins to show its ugly face. Once waiting involved sitting and anticipating a friend coming over for a play date, now responsibility and money is attached. Things that are "wants" and not "needs" are put on the back burner for a sale or for never.

The waiting game doesn't just apply to financial things, but ethics and morals as well. One of the hardest things people these days have trouble waiting for is marriage. The media tells us "why wait" when we should be asking ourselves, why not wait? Sex is a beautiful thing, and it should be shared by two people united in Holy Matrimony, not two people that met in a bar and will never speak to one another again.

There is nothing wrong with waiting; whether it's for a sale, or for your spouse. Those who wait are rewarded greatly with happiness that others spend a lifetime searching for. I've barely even scratched the surface on waiting, but i'll conclude with this old youtube video about waiting...

It All Ends...

Don't worry, this post is not about the "end of the world," but about the end of an era, the end of a big part of my childhood...the end of Harry Potter.

As a kid I LOVED reading books. Every night dad would read to me before bed, and if he wasn't home yet mom would. Then, I got into 1st grade. With every book I read I had to write a book report, and so, my love for reading diminished. Reading became a chore, I didn't read for the fun of it, but because I had to. That continued until 3rd grade. One night when I was getting ready for bed I found a book under my pillow (mom placed it there as a surprise). She told me to give it a try. I opened the book and read, and read, and read. That book was Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone, the first book of a 7 part series. I couldn't put it down. Once I finished it, I read it again. I was immersed in a world of adventure, magic, friendship and a fight between good versus evil.

I wasn't a nerd about the books, I read them, some more than once and I was in line for the midnight release of each following book. I was reading again, and loving it. My friends shared in the excitement of the books, and we had a great time talking about them. Then, to our excitement, we found out they were to be made into movies. Our excitement grew.

As our excitement grew, it was also met by book banning in schools and in churches. I heard of parents who would not allow their children to read the books and it shocked me. There are several books out there about witches and wizards, the beloved Lord of The Rings trilogy is filled with magic and wizards. I could not, and still do not understand why Harry Potter is condemned. I have even searched the internet for direct info regarding what the Catholic Church, in particular the Pope, has said about it and could not find any trusted searches regarding the issue. I searched the vatican website as well and the only thing I found about Harry Potter was a review "a British view from Japan on "Tolkein Versus Rowling". In it he addresses some differences between Harry Potter and Lord of The Rings, this of course in not church teaching, but the vatican did put include it on their site, so maybe thats something to think about.

As a soon to be parent, I am beginning to understand where parents are coming from when choosing what they will and will not allow their kids to watch and read. Some things I agree with, and others I don't. When it comes to the Harry Potter series, I have come to the conclusion that you have to be careful, as you should with everything in the media. Children are vulnerable, and should keep their innocence for as long as possible. Don't simply let your children loose with the books without giving them the proper guidance, show them that it is fiction, it is not real. To have an imagination and to stimulate it, I think, is a valuable thing, as long as one can separate what is real, from what is not. My parents let my sister and I read the books (my brother is still to young), and we are strong, faithful Catholics that can defend our faith. When my husband and I feel our children are old enough to "handle" the books, we will let them.

As my husband and I walked out of the theater yesterday (we saw Harry Potter 7), he said "well, it's over, this is something our kids won't experience." I asked him what he meant, since, of course the books and movies are around still. He said, "our kids won't experience the anticipation of the next Harry Potter book, or the midnight showing for the next movie." I had never thought of it like that. That was part of the fun of the whole series, both for the books and the movies, the anticipation. The waiting in line with my dad for the 3rd book that I pre-ordered. Or waiting with my cousins in line for 5 hours for Part 1 of the 7th movie. A piece of my childhood has passed, but I have memories, and I'll get to share them with my kids. After all...

It all ends.

Why Worry?

...That is a question that typically haunts me. I am a worry wart...my poor children are going to have a very hard time, my husband has already whispered this to our in-eutero child. Why do we worry? I could spend hours worrying about whether or not I unplugged my straightener before running out the door (when I remember unplugging it from the wall). Or whether I locked the front door (I check every night at least 3 times). When one spends so much time worrying you miss something huge. That is, you miss living. Now, there will always be little moments of worry, it's our nature, but in that moment say a little prayer and flush it out of your mind. My mom always tells me to give my worries to Mary our Mother, asking her to place it at her Son's feet, and every time I feel a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.

Most of the time when we worry it's over things that in that moment we can not change.

There are lots of people who believed that the world was going to end this past May. People who put time and money into this thought, who for the past few years have stopped living, in preparation for something that did not happen. Why spend so many years waiting, worrying, and preparing for an idea that may or may not happen.

There is a song by Tim McGraw, "Live Like You Were Dying." To this day, I cannot listen to this song, every time I hear the first few beats I change the station otherwise I'll tear up. Why? Even though my dad is perfectly healthy, I picture that man in the song as my dad, and as a daddy's girl, I cannot bear to imagine life without my dad.

Have you ever sat and really listened to those lyrics? The song is about a man who finds he doesn't have long to live, and instead of worrying or waiting for the inevitable, he celebrates life, "I went Skydiving, rocky mountain climbing..." "I became a better husband, most the time I wasn't." Why does it take a tragic news like that to bring us to really live? We should be living everyday as if it were our last. That doesn't mean live everyday for yourself; live everyday for yourself, for others and most importantly for God.

True friends

I thought maybe today I'd just talk a little bit about friendship. We all have friends or people we call when we are bored to talk or to hang out. What makes a good friend? It's something I think we all ask ourselves.

"There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship" - Thomas Aquinas

I think that is a very powerful quote, but how do we know, or find true friendship? My very best friend, apart from my husband, I've known since I was 2. Yes, we have been friends that long, she was the maid of honor at my wedding and is the godmother of my first child. We have had 1 fight in our 20 years of friendship and that was when we were 7 and she wouldn't let me play with one of her American girl dolls. Come on, we were girls those silly fights happen. She makes me laugh like you would not believe, and is practically part of our family. Her future spouse will not only have to ask her parents for her hand in marriage but my parents, as well.

How can a friendship last so long? We have not attended the same school since we were in kindergarten, we lived several miles apart for most of our childhood, and neither one of us enjoy talking on the phone. Now we live at least 2,000 miles apart. We don't hold any secrets to our friendship, we just ... are. I can speculate. We don't sit and discuss politics, or religion, we were both raised Catholic, however, she'll be the first to tell you I'm the one who has remained the "bible thumper". To me, our friendship isn't about telling one another what we are doing right or wrong, but being an example for one another. I know when she disagrees with something I do, because I hear behind her sweet "wow, I mean if thats what you want" comment, that not-so-sweet "Your crazy and I don't think you should do that" tone. That disappointed tone is enough to make anyone rethink things. I'm sure there are things I've said and done that have helped her as well. Our friendship is not perfect, but is anyones really? Friendship takes practice and growth, understanding and respect.

"Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces." -Anne Morrow Lindbergh.

How true is that quote? Girls are the worst, we are so mean to each other, burn friendships like we have plenty to spare. When women do something wrong, and are confronted about it, we tend to hold grudges. I had a friend do wrong to me, and I told her I needed a bit of “space”, and that I was angry. That may not have been the best thing, but I was hurt and really did need “time away." When I finally cooled off, I called her up and said, "I forgive you." Guess what! All of a sudden, I was to blame. I did everything wrong. She could not own up to what she did, and because of that she burned the bridge between us. I honestly don't hold a grudge now, and I have emailed her to see how she is, but I never hear a response. To me, I just think that that’s her loss.

Why do people hold grudges? I rarely ever confront anyone, except on matters of moral issues. The one time that happened (4 years ago) it was in a positive way, and this person hates me. Hate is a strong word, and I do not exaggerate it, this person has literally told people "I hate her." It does not bother me; if they want to "hate" me that is up to them. If 4 years later they are still concerned with that issue, then thats a bit ridiculous. People need to learn to forgive, and in some cases, forget. If we spend our lifetime hating and hurting others we are truly only hurting ourselves. I do not tell the "negative" stories to ask for pity, and I'm not bitter. It’s to simply show that I am human and that even though I have great friends, I have lost friends too, but I didn't lose true friends.

True friends are friends who are there for you, who help you to grow in faith, love, and friendship. Who aren't afraid to tell you when you are wrong, but remain there for you when you are. Who rejoice with you when you are happy, and comfort you when you aren't. If you have a friend like that, hold on to them. Grow with them, and help them get to heaven.

Hand holding in mass?

Alright, as some of you may know, at the end of this year, 2011, the Catholic Church is making official revisions to the mass. Why? Jimmy Akin explains it all in his new book Mass Revision. Truly a fascinating read, I suggest you pick it up. The one thing that may be addressed with the rest of the changes is something that has bothered me for years, and that is hand-holding during the Lord's Prayer.

When my husband brought home the book the other night I flipped through it searching for whether or not that was to be addressed, and it is. Hand holding has become very common, in some areas more than others. I'm not sure where it began but it is not an "approved liturgical posture." "There is no authorization in the Church's liturgical law for the laity to hold hands, either during the Our Father or at any other time during mass," (Jimmy Akin, Mass Revision). It was stated by the Second Vatican Council that no one can change anything in the liturgy without proper permission, and so introducing a new liturgical posture, hand holding, violates church law.

Jimmy Akin includes in this small, page-long section that he suspects that Rome has yet to address this issue because their are plenty more important things to focus on, and I'm sure he is right.

It is simply a pet peeve of mine and I thought I'd share my findings. Also, googling will bring up similar answers and explanations on the point from websites like EWTN.

Thoughts on Relativism

The past view days I have been in an intense debate regarding hate speech against homosexuals. I am a cradle Catholic, meaning born and raised, and it has been instilled in my heart and mind to show respect towards others even if I disagree with them. The other day, I posted on facebook a link to an article regarding a new law that most likely will pass in the state of California that requires public schools to teach "gay history" beginning in kindergarten. My comment on it was "on that note, I will be homeschooling", and because of that I am now being accused of spouting hate speech.

I do not hate anyone, not even my worst enemy. I have friends who are attracted to the same sex, and our friendship is not changed because of it. I do not publicly protest gays, I do not shout hateful words at them and I do NOT hate them. My reasoning for wanting to homeschool is a personal choice, a choice that I am gifted the right to have because I live in the United States. I am also gifted the right to freedom of speech. Apparently, that right is only given if you agree with the "popular norm." I believe that teaching your children things such as sex or homosexuality is the rights of parents, not the school systems. To have a law saying that it is required takes away some of the rights of parents, and that is not right.

Let me digress. I should here take a look at the root of the issue. There is a mindset that is very popular today which is adopted by most people who favor "gay rights", "equality", and the like. I am talking about relativism.

The ideas about relativism are inspired or taken from an excellent little booklet my husband just read called Absolute Relativism by Chris Stefanick.

The fundamental philosophy driving relativism is that Absolute Truth (hereon referred to as A.T.) does not exist. But this statement is immediately flawed, because to believe that A.T. absolutely does not exist is not absolutely true unless A.T. exists. But if A.T. exists, then... well, it exists. In fact, the only reason so many people today are relativists is because it is rarely scrutinized.

Relativism is the concept that truth, and morality, can be defined by each person. In this case, if one person wants to believe that homosexuality is immoral, and another believes it is acceptable, they agree to disagree because "truth" is relative.

Relativists are quick to label anyone who takes an objective view of truth "intolerant". Obviously, this cannot be applied to all moral issues; for example, you would surely agree that murder (take the 9/11 disaster as an extreme case) is OBJECTIVELY wrong. Even American relativists would not dispute that. Stefanick says: "because it is impossible for relativism to be consistent, many people end up being 'selective relativists,' objective about things they feel strongly about (terrorism? gun control? global warming?) but nothing else (sexual ethics? religion?).

Relativism is not necessary to maintain peace in the world. As it is, whenever someone states he can know with certainty the truth about something, and anyone who disagrees with him is "wrong", he is quick to be labeled "intolerant," "rigid," or "close-minded."

Isn't it ironic, however, that relativists are less tolerant than Christians? Chris Stefanik gives many examples of cases where schools persecute public prayer, activists sue companies for public religious symbols, and so on. Christians are one of the least-tolerated groups, but they are most-frequently labeled "intolerant".

"Relativists state that each person can create his own right and wrong with the one rule that we shouldn't hurt or restrain anyone else. But as soon as someone admits a single should into his vocabulary... he has undetermined moral relativism, where there are no objective moral standards."

What is tolerance? To tolerate something, we must first agree that it is wrong. Sunshine is never tolerated, it is enjoyed. Rain sometimes has to be tolerated. A Christian does not agree with homosexual practices, so for them to be labeled intolerant is actually a misnomer.

To close, I would like to point out that Catholics do NOT hate homosexuals. To disagree with their lifestyle choice is not hateful, it is a disagreement, it is not unlawful to disagree. As a Catholic I hear many people spouting hateful things about my church, but I never accuse them of "hate speech," for that would be a very strong accusation and I know there will always be people who disagree with my faith.

God bless, and have a safe and happy 4th of July!